WHEN GOD SAYS NO!

When God Says No

“Rejection happens! It’s how you choose to react that decides if you are really saying God's will or yours be done.” – Me

So these past 4 weeks have been an incredible ride. I will fill you in on the details of what I have been up to the last month or so. I was a day away from God allowing me to step into my first full time leadership role in a church, but a 15 minute brain lapse killed it all. I had applied to be the next Worship Pastor at The Bridge Community Church in Warrenton, Va. I did my research on the church, prayed, and really followed closely to what I really thought I was ready for. My wife and I fell in love with their passion and even the leadership the staff displayed. We wanted to be a part of this church. In early September we spent a weekend in VA getting to know the church and Senior Pastor. When we returned I felt the rush and pleasant feelings that go along with wanting a dream job, but what I was lacking a quiet peace of hearing God say, “Yes”. I continued to write and converse with the Pastors of the church for a few weeks. During that time we set up a date for me to come in and lead worship, meet with elders, and interview further with leadership.  Throughout this process my schedule with the Marine Corps had become outrageous and on top of that we are facing down an end date to my time as a US Marine, October 18th, 2012. To say that I had made it easy on us was definitely not the case, but still I continued to press on because I simply never heard God say yes or no on the matter.

To start things off, Saturday we had an interview with a church elder and the Connections Pastor. We felt like it went really well. The conversation was fluid and there was always something to expand on. After lunch my wife took the kids and gave me a couple of hours to myself so I could pray, run through the worship set a few times, and rehearse some ideas.  While I was praying and worshipping the Holy Spirit paid me a visit. He sat me down for a second, breathed life into me, and said, “you are about to fail. Not because you aren’t going to lead worship and pastor. You just aren’t going to lead worship and pastor here.”  I was heartbroken. But I went ahead to practice thinking, “Well I will go ahead and lead worship, have an amazing Sunday, and the Holy Spirit will just confirm this with other people.”   At practice something happened that I can’t explain.  It was as if I forgot for about 15-20 minutes how to do anything right. In a span of about 15 minutes I lost my internal metronome to stay in ¾ time. I bombed a song that I personally had led a 100 times and just in general my overall sense was lost! This feeling would eventually go away and I would correct it all, but the damage had been done. I crashed a plane into a moving train and was being taken out to sea! I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit during practice that just said, “Don’t worry, just worship.” We finished strong on the tail end of things. I prayed with the team and left. When I got back to the hotel I received a phone call from the pastor to meet him in the lobby.  We met and he released me from leading worship on Sunday.  We talked for several minutes about the whole practice. I know what happened and cannot change the perception of a bad day, but it was so much more than that. I wanted to defend, but couldn’t. I think it is in our nature to try and say well if this had happened then I could have done this better. I felt peace about it all and was thankful for the process and know what I need to do the next time around.

What I drew from all of this is the quote at the beginning of this post, “Rejection happens! It’s how you choose to react that decides if you are really saying God's will or yours be done.”  I have known where I was called to go and it was never a backup plan, because it was God’s plan! I rejoiced in the fact I didn’t get this job. Maybe I would have loved it! (I am sure I would have.) Maybe this or that, but God has someone for The Bridge Community Church that is going to be what that church needs.  My musicianship failed at the right moment to protect me and Bridge Church from a partnership. It would have been beneficial but they are in need of another type of worship pastor for the season they are in.

God’s will for my life always means that his agenda comes first. I cannot fall in love with a place more than I love him.

 

Daring To Love God Pt 2

NOVA~ Hillsong United

Let all the earth declare your name, voices resounding heaven’s fame. Our God be Praised forever.

 

What is it really all about?  I have pretended for the last few years that I had it altogether when it came to worship. I mean why shouldn’t I feel confident? I had been leading worship since I was 15 years old. Writing worship music since I was 17. I attended great worship conferences.  I learned from the industry itself. I worked along some great worship leaders and led worship all over the world. Yet my attitude when I went to church and heard a song that maybe I wouldn’t have done I would just break it down, as if somehow some song from 95 wasn’t written with heart and passion.  I finally broke down and wrote myself out of a worship team in Afghanistan that I had been leading. Even with the chance to be “known” as a Marine Worship Leader, I knew there was a cancer in my spiritual life. The cancer was the sin of pride. I was so “proud” I have become a vocalist and musician overall that I could walk into most churches in America and be leading in a heartbeat or so I thought. Last summer (2011) I was getting bites left and right from churches all across America, but then it dried up, because I had dried up. I had allowed myself to look at what "i" could do vs what God could do through me! 

 How did this “sin of pride” affect my worship to God?  I was not focusing all of my energy and emotions into worshiping him. I was holding back. I was focused on technical rather than really praising him and thanking him. I have always heard the phrase from people, “Man I got SOO much out of worship!!”  They are not wrong and yes that is an outcome, but is that really the most important aspect of our worship? Instead of about what I can give to God it became what I can get from him. Even as a worship leader I had to wake up and smell the open sore of this cancer called pride.

 This question led me to explore a new avenue in my walk and worship, to learn how to serve others in my leading worship. So I had to step aside, get out of the way and let God speak. I needed some fresh air in my life. So what do we do when we are exhausted? burn out? We need to get refreshed. Examine our worship. Our relationships. Our time. This week make a song of worship your theme song. Below is what I chose.

 

 This week I was listening to Hillsong United’s song “Nova”.  In the lyrics the writer describes, “Let all the earth declare your name, flood all the earth with endless light, raise up the streets from death to life. Our God be praised forever.”  What an  anthem!  The song is a shout and declaration to say let our lives come alive with your glory.  That is exactly what happens when I am truly focused upon him and only him. 

Daring to love God! Pt 1

What if I told you that worshipping God is not about you or what you get out of it?

What does it mean to be caught up in grace like an avalanche?  What is it to be swept away? What does it mean to truly pour out all that I am? We sing powerful lyrics, but yet we turn from the teachings of Jesus on a daily basis. We put him right back up on the cross, not because we want to, but because we cannot turn off our appetite for self.

Stop what you are doing right now. Are you on Facebook? Twitter? Linked in? Can you remember your friend’s last 10 posts? Who are you following, the voice of a celebrity or the words and teachings of Jesus?  We are so accustomed to marketing and advertising that we don’t see the pain that is going on in our own spiritual journey. We have all become zombies.  Not quite dead but not quite alive.  

The next 40 days of my journey are going to be rough.  I am attempting something that I have never done before in my walk. For 40 days I am going to worship, worship like my life depends on it.  My marriage and my relationships cannot be fulfilled without it. Only a relationship with God through Christ Jesus can fulfill them.

We need to hear the call, the call for worship! Jesus tells us that we are to worship in spirit and truth. 

John 4:23-24 (NIV)

^“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Over the course of the next 40 days I am going to investigate what that means for me and what it means for others.This journey of course encompasses so many different phases: physical, mental, and emotional. I approach this as a Love Dare.  I dare you to love God for 40 days with me! We are going to dive into his word about worship.  Are you ready?

 

Daring to love God!!!!

The Opposite of Authentic

 

Authenticity is the common thread for all the worship leaders I have come in contact with. What does being authentic mean to you? Merriam Webster defines it as: a means of undisputed origin or genuine.  How are we to going to be able to speak of real relationship, with a real God if we are in a fake relationship with him? How will we lead others if we aren’t even following the same things? God desires ALL of us. This Sunday are you going to sing, “I surrender some, Oh I surrender some, Only part of me to Jesus, Oh I surrender some?” Ok. I realize most people will never openly admit they are holding back an area of their life, but are they being real with God? For any relationship to thrive it must be authentic.  We must be authentic in our relationship with God!

You can’t fake a relationship with God. Sure, you can make everyone else think that you are spiritual by sporting religious apparel and even boasting about your faith, but eventually you’ll the truth will surface. There will come a time when you’re tempted or disaster occurs.  If you are faking it to make it your faith will not be strong enough to help you stand up in the face of adversity. The older I get the more I see this to be true in my own life. I have an intense need to spend more time with God every single day and to be more honest with Him about my struggles. I have become utterly dependent upon His grace. If for some reason I miss a day of confession, and reading my Bible, I just feel “out of sorts”.  Think about how you feel if you make it to work without that first cup of coffee and then times that by a thousand.

I haven’t always desired authenticity with God. It’s embarrassing to admit, but in years past I would go a few days without praying and without reading my Bible. But when it came to letting God steer my decision-making process, or needing Him to help me refrain from sinful habits, I had very little power to do so. I would allow my duty to the Marine Corps or my obligations to fatherhood/husband hood to swallow me whole. When this happens I lose sight of how to have a relationship that matters.   There are 3 signs of a fake relationship with God: 1. How you see people will be different. Without a real relationship you can't love people like God loves people. 2. You begin finding reasons not to go to church or spend time with others who are going to church. Don't abandon ship and its leaders. If you are reading this SPEND some time praying for your team, small group leaders, and your friends who are going through this. 3. You will be fruitless.  (Gal 5:22-23) Walking with God means your life will produce these things! You won't have to fight to produce this. It just happens according to the relationship!

Thankfully I woke up and saw the light.  Along the way I made a conscious decision to be more disciplined about spending designated time with God, daily. That discipline has produced fruit in my life. It has provided me with the ability to hear from God more clearly and to let His Spirit lead me.

I’m not sure how often you spend time with God, how much you read your Bible, pray, and listen to Him, but I want to encourage you to be very honest with yourself and make an assessment. Ask yourself the question, “Am I keeping it real or just faking it?” Maybe God is leading you to exit this website and either head over to http://churchofthehighlands.com/bible or open up your hard copy Bible and spend some time reading His Word and listening to His voice.

Contract Vs Covenant Marriage

Living out a Covenant marriage as oppose to living out a Contract marriage.

Relationships aren’t working because we do not define them at a God level.  A God level relationship operates through a covenant. Blood is involved.   To have a God kind of success we must redefine our relationships at a God level!

When we have a contract relationship we are saying: We must protect our rights, but limit our responsibilities.  I want all of this but right now I want you to know I’m not putting up with a lot.  It’s not love if it’s conditional. If you don’t fulfill your part I’m out of here.

When we have a covenant relationship we are saying: We give up our rights and pick up our responsibilities.  I’m going to enter into this at a point of sacrifice.  I will surrender my rights.  It only takes one to agree, not basing it on what you do, but on what I’ve decided, till deaths do us part.

We have our bad days and good days.  We aren’t perfect, but when we strive to remember God first in all of our life it means he adds to us. He produces riches in our lives, relationships, parenting, worship, and anything beyond what we can think or ask for.  A “contract” marriage will never work!

How to live a Covenant Marriage

We must give up 3 rights:

1.       Priority: Our new priority is our spouse. We say, “I will protect that by anything you can perceive.” The best of us must no longer go to our “jobs” or our hobbies. The best of us belong to our spouse.  We must have a marriage centered home rather than a child centered home. We MUST be an example to our children!

2.       Ownership: We say, “I give you the right to co-own every part of my life: time, money, possessions, and body. Everything I have is yours.”  We don’t demand this of each other; rather we give it to each other.  There is no longer mine or yours but rather ours.  There is no room for selfishness!

3.       Privacy:  We give our spouse free and unhindered access to everything we are and everything we have.  We do no hide parts of us from our spouses. We are open books. We are able to come to each other with open hearts and open minds because our transparency has built trust and we are confident and secure in our relationship.

We must love unconditionally, live with honor, and live with respect.

Loving unconditionally means when you are at your worst I will love you the most.  You will never get to the “what if” if you take your marriage to the God level and become part of the solution not the problem.  When you are faithless he is faithful!

Honor is when you put value in something that does not have value.  You make it valuable.  God created men to need value. God calls us to be Holy and Holy means to be set apart and special. Holy living men and women put their hope in God.  Honor him even when he/she was not honorable.

Submit mutually must be out of reverence for Christ.  We make Jesus the priority.  Respond to his unconditional love by loving him back. We then submit everything we have.  If you have done anything less than that you have religion, not the real thing, you have a contract not a covenant.  You cannot work on any relationship on earth before you work on your relationship with God. 

How my children are teaching me

How my children are teaching me….

As we sat down for our morning cup of coffee my wife and I started discussing the correlations between our family and our faith. Our talk leads us to our daughters’ dependency on us.  When they wake up and the first words out of their mouths are, “I hungry Daddy, I need to go potty,” and if it is a relatively bad morning my oldest will say, “Daddy I red” (her way of telling me she is bleeding).  Observing their behavior really made me stop and focus upon my own relationship with God.  How often do I look to God and say, “Daddy I am hungry for more of you! I need to be cleaned God. I’m dirty. God I am hurting.”

As we grow and mature we begin to believe that we no longer depend on our parents and we are strong enough to do everything on our own. We tend to believe that we don’t need their wisdom and guidance.  But what happens when disaster strikes? Who is the first person/people we typically run to? We run straight to those that unconditionally love us and that will all ways come through for us.  We seek their assistance and guidance.  We as believers have a tendency to act the same way during our own spiritual growth. The more we learn and know leads us to believe that we can do life on our own instead of constantly relying upon God and his wisdom and guidance.  Instead the more we grow the more we need his direction.

James 1:5(NLT)

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”

God is constantly attempting to speak into our lives. He is speaking life, wisdom, and healing but we have either blocked his voice out or we act like rebellious teenagers. We throw our fist up at God and tell him, “I don’t need you, I can handle this!”

My children are teaching me that there will never be a moment during my day that I won’t need God. I need him for everything in my life and I love him for that. I will forever need his wisdom and guidance. My revelation is this, I should pray first about everything in my life. 

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Before I send that email, apply for a job, before I take on the next big project I need to pray first.  I need to talk to my father every day! I want everything in my life to say love loudly!