Taking next steps.

I have taken some time off from writing because of a new schedule with school and now as a Lead Pastor for the last few months at a small church. God has done some incredible things in that time.  My first few months have been spent ( no offense to him) debunking, cleaning out, and taking heat from the Pastor  I replaced.( As I am sure he did too!) This would have happened either way if he had been liked or disliked.  What I have learned thus far:

•    It does not take a year to try new things, just pray & ask
•    Whatever the member of your church says, listen, discern, pray, and then act.
•    Don't let them bad mouth the last pastor, even if you think he deserves it
•    Admit you don't know what you don't know.
•   Stay Humble
•  Do what they are hungry for! Visit. Be apart of their lives and not just a passerby.

Some of these seem like no brainers, but the temptation to do the opposite is there and it  is real!!!
The best part of this has been getting to know new people, communities, and watching life happen. I did take a risk in my first few months because I refuse to stay still. Church should grow, develop, and look new every week. In my first few months, our people have brought over 100 new people in a community that is saturated with churches. 33 churches for a town 2,700 people!  This  is huge deal.

Have you ever felt that way at something new? Like you have to prove something? I have since crept back in the attitude to take it one step at a time, but always pray about everything. Right now my church is in a series called, Live.Laugh. Love.  Learning how to Live well, Laugh often, and Love much. It reminded me of all I had to be thankful for.

God,
 I thank you for this new thing you are doing in my life. Help me to Live well, Laugh Often, and Love much. Help me to be anxious for nothing, but with everything Thanksgiving!

Pure Worship Institute

I have attended countless workshops over my 17 years of worship leading and finally have one that deserves to be boasted about. Pure Worship Institute is a must send place for any worship leader/team! Whether you have been together for 6 weeks or years, this is a place to refresh both your talent and learn new techniques. Draw closer to God's presence and receive some close personal teaching from some of  the best worship and music industry leaders today. I am not only endorsing, but I am a graduate of  PWI 2009!

Why should you attend?
   This year on the schedule are 29 speakers who have a heart for worship. Whether you are singing from a hymnal or HillSong, the attitude of your heart posture is what is most important. Founder Jeff Deyo pursues passionately in each session and in no way is a hands off instructor who sits by without pouring into the lives of the students who come from all over to learn more about worship leading.
There are four tracks in which to choose from; Singer/Worship Leader Track, Musician Track, Creative Track, and Sound/Recording Track.

Singer/Worship Leader

This track is primarily for vocalists who desire to improve their technique and learn how to get the most out of their voices. We will focus on pop vocal methods, background singing, blending, and harmonizing. There will be teaching on how to care for your voice, how to increase your range, the difference between chest voice, head voice, and falsetto; the importance of warming up and cooling down, what God expects of singers, how to lead and direct a band, how to avoid pride, phrophetic singing, and more.( this is from pureworshipinstitute.com, the next sentence was cut off on the website)
I personally experienced this track and even after years of leading I found everything to be fresh & relevant. This is a cannot miss opportunity if you have just hired a first time worship leader! This is also a great place for those who are burned out! ( if they come thirsty)



Musican Track

This track is primarily for instrumentalists who want to better themselves while learning the tricks of the trade. We will focus on these instruments: drum set, bass guitar, electric and acoustic guitar, piano/synth/organ, and programming. There will be teaching on caring for your instrument, making the most of your practice time, worshiping with your instrument, God’s expectations of musicians, how to avoid the “rock star” mentality, networking with artists and other musicians, and more. There will be workshops and small-group clinics, as well as opportunities for improvisational jam sessions and gear talk.

Creative Track

This track is primarily for attendees who are interested in the creative side of music, such as arranging and songwriting, as well as a mix of other classes that introduce creativity in worship. Some of these venture beyond the normal congregational song sets, and explore important topics like “free” worship, improvisation, and prophetic worship. There will be teaching on worship intercession, songwriting techniques, and arranging for bands, while a new focus for 2013 may include a guest drama team and the introduction of drama in worship. . There will be multiple comprehensive workshops and hands-on clinics, as well as opportunities for small-group songwriting, basic demo recording and experimental, spontaneous worship.

Sound and Recording Track

This is a new track title, replacing the Technology Track. It is primarily for people who are, or would like to be involved in some of the surrounding areas in the music world. Most of these classes are very practical in nature and will help build skills that many musicians need but often don’t take time to learn. Some of the classes offered in this track include, “The Live Mix Fix”, “Audio System Setup”, “Running Rehearsals and Sound Checks”, and “Today’s Gear”. We also include classes on the industry side of things like “The Music Producer”, “Pro Tools I”, and “The Recording Experience” “The Recording Experience”, involves one song being selected from the Songwriting group, and being taken through a professional recording process to completion as attendees look on and ask questions.

If your team is looking for a place to grow spiritually, conditionally, and relationally then look no further!
PureWorship

Passion and Purpose, and living it out

I've been lying to myself.
 I have lost what was so valuable to me. Passion. I am not mistaken. I am missing passion. Tonight I was listening to my very dear friend  (shameless plug:http://lifechurchpelham.podbean.com/) Jeremy  talk about passion. Tears began to stream down my face as I listened to him talk about those who are serving the kingdom. I've been approaching this date in July as first time pastor with a sense of dread. This moment that I have been preparing for since I was 15 now feels like I am going to be walking into either a dentist office or funeral of fighting family. I hear "there a sweet dear church", followed quickly by how hostile they are. Even to the point of a man standing up in service and shouting down the Pastor during the middle of the sermon. The fact is that none of this stuff used to bother me. I've tried to pinpoint the time and place when I lost my zeal for life and to surround myself with those who are passionate, but I keep messing that up. So let me be real. Honest. We lose more people when we have no passion but have purpose. You can have purpose all day and twice on Sunday, but I would rather take 4 passionate people who want to do the small things really well, than have 100 people clamoring for greatness and the next rung or check in the box any day.

 God, renew my passion! Help me to understand that a know it all cannot do it all.

Wisdom of Men

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

Living Bible (TLB)

2 Dear brothers, even when I first came to you I didn’t use lofty words and brilliant ideas to tell you God’s message. ² For I decided that I would speak only of Jesus Christ and his death on the cross. ³ I came to you in weakness—timid and trembling. ⁴ And my preaching was very plain,, not with a lot of oratory and human wisdom but the Holy Spirit’s power was in my words, proving to those who heard them that the message was from God. ⁵ I did this because I wanted your faith to stand firmly upon God, not on man’s great ideas.

 So as it is with you, be weary of those who only rely on what their senses tell them. What they can explain. Argue. Contest with deep theological thought provoking splendor. Tonight, I was privileged to be picked as a candidate to become a pastor. I listened to myself speak for a minutes. I think 21 year old me would hear 34 year old me and be in awe, but not in a good way. You see. I am flawed. I trusted in the wise idea. God immediately convicted me of it. Why do I tell you of this?   As a Christian who happens to be Wesleyan/Methodist, I think  our walk can be exciting ( not all of the time) I think it can be filled with wisdom ( not ALL the time) and It can be Spirit filled and led( all the time)   Paul's message to the church at Corinth pleads with us now. Do we rely too much on scholarly intellect in American pulpits??  We are looking for the next great program or even the next BIG move of God before we move. That we are not  attacking issues.

Our Sunday mornings need not only be intellectual meals from the table of theology, but messages of hope that Jesus is saving lives and turning things on their head! The word says that it is the foolishness of God, just a few verses ( v25) later, is wiser than any man  and his weakness greater than ANY human strength. I am not saying abandon education. I am also not saying be SOOO carried away with God that you are no earthly good.  Here are some great points on staying balanced. 

We are starting to see a restoration of both the liturgical Church and the movement of his Holy Spirit in greater outpourings !   We need to become healthy in our relationships.

Why is biblical balance so important in the Christian life?

1. Biblical truth pushed too far in either direction can become fringe.
2. Anything displacing God’s rightful place in our lives can become an idol. Even things that are good in themselves can become idolatrous – including spouse and children if we love them more than God. One way to think about your overall health is by using the analogy of an automobile. Cars have four wheels and it is important that they be properly balanced for a smooth ride. If the tires are unbalanced and you increase your speed, the ride will be very rough!

What do these four wheels represent? 1) Psychological, 2) Physical, 3) Social and 4) Spiritual dimensions of living. One way to increase your balance is to find your most deflated tire and expand or grow it. God is not so just concerned with your “soul”; He’s concerned with every aspect of your being which includes the following:

1. Physical: Proper Rest, Nutrition, Activity (Work, Exercise and Recreation) 
1. Spiritual exercise too!
2. Psychological: Mental (Truthful), Emotional (Loving), Volitional (Obedient)
3. Relational: Family (spouse, children), Friends (including church), and Co-Workers.
4. Spiritual: Trusting and obeying God, knowing Christ and making Him known. 

I am so bad at number 1! I mean it is 12:38 am right now!!!

Prayer this week:
 God,
I turn from my sin of being unhealthy. I need you so much closer in my life. I ask for wisdom because you freely give it. Help me feel restored, refreshed, and in love with your will for my life more than anything. Christ have mercy. God give grace. Spirit cry out! Let my life be all for your Glory! I cry out for your nearness! 
 Amen.

Song: I want you so much closer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X84Pt96qSJQ

Hardship.

 

Galatians 6:1-3 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. 

One of my favorite blogs I have written in the past two years was about "When God Says No." I particularly  enjoyed writing about it because I think we have a misunderstanding about God's presence and promises that are being sent from pulpits that God's only answer for thing is Yes and Amen, that you should have a Mercedes, and that following Christ means doors are always opened for you..


If that is you. Well you are missing the wholeness of the Gospel. We are called to be close to God and in his presence sin cannot stay. I am not against wealth and riches, but against when we stand in the pulpit and make the focus of anything we do and everything we do about "prospering".  We can throw around scriptures. " Jesus came to give life and life more abundantly." Yes. Yes he did, but he also talked about really tough things, like our thought life. "For if you look upon a woman and lust after her, you have committed adultery and should pluck out his own eye." So last I check there are not a great deal of people running around blind or at least looking like pirates, unless it is Halloween.  I am not condemning, but if we want to uncover God's promise for our lives then we have to not be afraid when he disciplines us.  That is never fun right?  

Hardships often test where we are in order to get where we are going. You will not have a test free life. Choosing your attitude and how you react to diversity will be the measure of which God responds to your next step.

James 5:16

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working
So start by knowing that you are going have ups and downs. Sorry Osteen, following Christ is worth it, but not easy, even he said that. 

Prayer:

God, I confess to you that I fall short daily. I sin both knowingly and unknowingly. Christ have mercy. Jesus have mercy. I ask for the power of your Holy Spirit to fill me that I can live for you and not in my weakness.Cover me now. Christ have mercy. Jesus have mercy.  Let your love guide me.

Amen

Casting Down Fear

Psalm 23:4

Living Bible (TLB)

⁴ Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way.


I want to start off with this thought, no prayer, that today you will be released and relieved from fear. It can be crippling. Cut you off from reason and plague you with thoughts that leave you living in terror. Chronic anxiety and stress can contribute to a range of health problems, such as cardiovascular disease, depression and even cancer.

This is not the Father's plan and place for your life to live! Now here comes the defensive response.... wait for it... it is coming to your thoughts.

• You haven't been through what I have been through 
• I was born this way
• I don't call it fear, but being really really safe!

I am sure that we can come up with a great deal more, but let us explore what God says about fear. First, from a practical standpoint let us not confuse fear with being alert to danger. I would never say because you are absent of fear go stick your head in that alligator's mouth, but being aware that something might hurt you is simply smart. It is when fixate on these things that can take over our lives in every way.

My wife and I had an incident about a month ago that made me walk in fear for about a week. Early one morning my wife had our 8 month old son and was going downstairs to start the morning. I was laying in bed about half awake and the imaginable happened. They both fell from the top of the stairs. We have a baby gate built in at the top of the stairs and my wife had opened it and was turning to close it and tripped over her own feet. My son in her right arm  as she fell the only thing that slowed their descent was that we had not taken down some Christmas lights on staircase railing. I heard the crash and my wife's scream as she fell down the stairs. It was a scream of horror because in that moment of chaos, she was out of control and only concerned with protecting our precious son. I sprang out of bed upon hearing this scream and crash and running down our hall full expecting to see the worst, but God whispered something small in that moment..."I've got them."  Turning the corner and looking down  the stairs I see  my wife and son sitting up and both crying. I took those stairs like a professional football player, hitting every step with fervor and determination. Now my wife who is not the girliest of girls is crying like I have never seen before in our 7 years of marriage and holding our son who is also crying. It was the hardest thing for her to let go, because she was afraid of him being hurt. (now if you follow my blog. I am a former Marine. ) My training kicked and I calmed her down so I access my son's health and other than a small red mark on his arm where my wife was gripping him, he was in great shape. PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW! 
I checked one more time to be absolute.  

The aftermath of all this  was that for the next week I allowed fear to set in. Every time my wife went near the stairs I was hovering and giving safety lessons. Not my normal behavior. What is worse is that I now had mental images of the two of them falling and terrible things happening. Here is what I observed.

Fear causes doubt, insecurity, paranoia, restlessness , abnormal behavior, outbursts of anger, and a whole host of other things, but over and over again in scripture God tells us not fear. Why? It is because he knows what fear can do to us. 

So today I want you to be honest. Where are you afraid at in your life? Where do you trust God the least?  Surrender that
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.2 Tim 1:7

"God. I surrender. I will not live in fear for I am not abandoned. Your love abides in me and I abide in it. Where your perfect love is , I know that fear is not present. I cast my care upon you and lay down this burden of ______.
in Jesus Name. Amen"

Some other great scriptures all about fear and overcoming.

http://www.openbible.info/topics/fear_and_anxiety

Also support the great artist who I collaborate with at Society6 under the name PocketFuel.
http://society6.com/artist/PocketFuel

The life of a Stay at home dad. (SAHD)

I first want to say that it has been a long time since I have been writing and a great deal has happened since October, but I will get there.  God has been good to our little family of five to say the least. I have been on a journey of discovery both in my faith and as human being. That is such a funny word isn't it? As if human as something to do with being. I mean we don't look at a dog and say, " That is a dog being."

In January of 2013 my wife interviewed and landed an amazing job as the Family Life Director of First United Methodist Church in the beautiful small town of Port St. Joe, Florida. I was managing a small cell phone store with 5 employees and knew that my drive, day care, and enrolling in school online was going to take a huge toll on our family.  I prayed and felt a release from where I was working and resigned, but to get hired by my wife as the new stay at home dad job I thought I always wanted! I will be the first to admit that I should have been fired from the job a long time ago. I am not a brilliant cook unless it is meat burning on a grill and we currently do not have one. The laundry piles up into what I would like to call cotton mountains and sometimes the dishes grow things I have never seen and deserve to burned rather than cleaned, but I digress. (please note I am joking.....ok not about the laundry) 

What I have learned is that being a stay at home anything is INSANELY awesome and challenging, but like anything that is challenging, it is rewarding.  I have helped for the first time potty train a child, teaching one to read, and learn how really please my wife. ( she likes when i clean?)
I think the thing that weirds me out the most is that some of the looks and questions I get from people when they find out my wife works and I am lazy bum who sits at his house eating cheetos and playing on facebook while watching soap operas. First, I would say to the men who give me those responses... try being a full time stay at home dad for two weeks with my ages of 5, 3 and 8 months old and get back to me! No really. I was Sergeant in the Marines and that was easier than running a household.

Jennifer Ludden writes a beautiful piece about the growing trend of stay at home dads and the growing networks and even play-date groups( I have yet to find one) that meet to talk about the life of being a stay at home dad.  So here is some advice for both the stay at home dad and people who are not clued in.

FOR THE NEW STAY AT HOME DADS

1. Change is challenging-STILL BE A MAN!
2. Enjoy the Journey
3. Discover something new about your child
4. Be interactive-Don't just put on Disney Jr and ignore them while you nap.
5. Take them out.... OFTEN!

For everyone else

1. Don't give weird looks when you find out
2. Do tell them it is awesome! 
3. Don't emasculate them
4. Help them discover a community of ideas.... playdates... free kid activities... you know that stuff we don't know!

 

The Common misconceptions

10. He’s Sitting at Home Watching Sports All Day

Well, there aren’t that many sports on during a week day, so watching plain old TV can fill the role. But watching TV, unless it is getting a short break from the toddler by tuning into PBS’s children’s programming, is usually the last thing on your mind during a hectic day. You may get to watch a late Sportscenter once the kids are in bed and the house is reorganized, but there are no guarantees.

9. His Spouse Would Rather Be Home

There is a theme to misconceptions that at-home dads have to deal with, and it is rife with gender stereotypes. This one is a reverse misconception. Just as there are men who don’t necessarily want to be stuck in the office all day and would rather take care of the kids, there are women who want to advance their careers. There is no doubt that your wife would like to spend more time with the kids. Your family talked long and hard about this decision and concluded it would be the best situation. It’s doubtful that during the process she said she didn’t want to be a mom.

8. Men Would Rather Be in the Office

Most stay-at-home dads can tell you they know a male friend, former co-worker, acquaintance or family member who has told them they would love to take care of the kids if they could. Careerbuilder.com releases an annual survey of working dads that has found the number wishing they could stay at home with the children was 50% in 2003, and the tally most years has hovered around 40%. Most men in this role chose to be here and wouldn’t want to give it up.

7. Men Don’t Stay at Home With the Children

True, only 159,000 men are classified as full-time fathers according to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau numbers. That’s compared with 5.6 million full-time moms. But when you throw in the part-time at-home dads or those who do most of the caring for the kids – they work at night and watch the kids during the day, for example – the number of men as primary caregivers is as high as 20%. Additionally, the number of men staying at home has nearly tripled in the past decade and continues to grow. Full-time dads are increasingly visible.

6. Men Can’t Watch the Kids as Well as Women

Unsolicited advice is another common aspect stay-at-home dads deal with when out in public with their kids. You handled that tantrum incorrectly, you dressed them wrong, you shouldn’t be giving them that popcorn. Or how about, “Those kids should be with their mother.” Because a man can’t competently take care of a child? Moms surely get similar advice, and there is no way to say who has to deal with it more. Either way, it’s not a great feeling to be told you don’t know what you’re doing.

5. He Must Have Lost His Job

There is no other reason a dad would want to take care of the kids other than he was forced to, right? There is no question in these economic times some men have taken on the role because they were laid off or their job situation isn’t promising. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to stay at home. Don’t be surprised if many more men used the economic climate as the perfect excuse to spend more time with their children.

4. He Must be Looking for a Job

Again, people have a hard time comprehending that a father would want to stay at home. It is sometimes hard to find support for the decision or to find the right response when finding out what a SAHD does. A lot of people are set in their ways. They’ll tell you it is great what you are doing and then ask how the job hunt is going or pass along employment advertisements that your skills fit. Take it as a complement that they are thinking about you

3. He Must Not Have Any Motivation

If you’re staying home all day instead of at work, it must be you can’t find something to do with your time or don’t want to. You’d rather sleep until noon, roll out of bed and eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes, play some video games and take a nap. Problem is, kids don’t sleep until noon and if you’re lucky you get a bowl of cereal when they eat. In fact, on the motivation front, SAHDs have to take the opposite approach. Being a full-time caregiver requires a lot of determination and composure. It is a job that doesn’t stop at 5 p.m. or for the weekend, and if you’re not on your toes constantly with the kids, they will eat you alive. Not to mention, you need to be motivated just to deal with these misconceptions.

2. So, You’re Babysitting Today?

Every stay-at-home dad has heard this. He probably heard it during the first week while out running an errand. And he’s heard it many, many times since. Yes, most kids are watched by women. But to automatically think that a father, even one who doesn’t stay with the kids full time, would only be with the children if he was babysitting shows how deep the parenting stereotype is. This is a tough situation to respond to. Taking the high road with a simple nod and a smile or a quick, “I watch them every day,” is probably best. They’ll probably get the hint, and likely will feel a little guilty about making the comment.

1. He Is Not Masculine

This is the granddaddy of all stay-at-home misconceptions. Watching the kids is a woman’s job. Men are supposed to be the breadwinners. You are not a man. It’s enough to make anyone unsure. It’s easy to get beaten down by this stereotype in what can already be an isolating role. A big defense is to show you have a grasp on the important task of making sure the kids are growing right is as important and rewarding of a job as any. You are taking care of your family. Isn’t that fall under the umbrella of what a man is supposed to do?

References

http://www.npr.org/2013/05/15/180300236/stay-at-home-dads-breadwinner-moms-and-making-it-all-work 
http://stayathomedads.about.com/