In a previous a previous post, Ambushed , I talked about being surrounded by 3 pastors and in particular one pastor who seemed to just have it out for me. It was a devastating moment for sure and a valuable lesson to learn. I was pretty far removed from the event and had not given it much thought until I signed up to serve communion at Annual Conference.
I saw the name. His name. Thought to myself, "God you do have a sense of humor, don't you." Boy, did he! I was seriously over the debacle and little did I know what God had in store.
My wife and prepared to serve communion and as the pastor led us all through the blessing of the communion, I sensed that "sweet sweet spirit in this place" kind of moment. I felt the love of my Savior. I was reminded that at the table, all are welcome. That before I come to the table, examine my heart. My heart was filled with grace that overflowed. It was truly a humbling moment to serve communion to our Annual Conference.
As my wife and I made are way to be served, I had just focused on a moment with Jesus and the previous song we lifted up. "Break every chain. Break Every Chain."
Then communion begins. I watch as we prepare our hearts for a connection with Christ at the table.
The pastor stops in front of my wife. "This is the body of Christ given for you."
I hold my hands in a cup, as if making a tiny throne for the bread of heaven. My eyes are looking at my hands and then I look up. He is staring at me. "Clay. I'm sorry." He hands me the body of Christ. Without hesitation I say "it's okay. I love you." The cup bearer comes next and I dip and tasted the radical love of God. It was over in a moment, but the moment stuck with me.
I know. If you have read this far. Why not say... you are forgiven or I forgive you.
That had already transpired. Sure, I was hurt by what happened, but I was never going to stay stuck by what took place.
The reality is... we all make mistakes or get caught up in moments. I know I mess up. It is just a fact. Not a perfect anything, but this life is far too short to live with bitterness about anything.
Today and every day. Practice forgiveness. Make it a habit.
Matthew 18:21-22
21 At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”
22 Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.
Forgiveness is a practice.God can do more with that than he ever could with your bitterness, anger, or resentment.
(note... not sharing the names for reasons of anonymity)