I've been lying to myself.
I have lost what was so valuable to me. Passion. I am not mistaken. I am missing passion. Tonight I was listening to my very dear friend (shameless plug:http://lifechurchpelham.podbean.com/) Jeremy talk about passion. Tears began to stream down my face as I listened to him talk about those who are serving the kingdom. I've been approaching this date in July as first time pastor with a sense of dread. This moment that I have been preparing for since I was 15 now feels like I am going to be walking into either a dentist office or funeral of fighting family. I hear "there a sweet dear church", followed quickly by how hostile they are. Even to the point of a man standing up in service and shouting down the Pastor during the middle of the sermon. The fact is that none of this stuff used to bother me. I've tried to pinpoint the time and place when I lost my zeal for life and to surround myself with those who are passionate, but I keep messing that up. So let me be real. Honest. We lose more people when we have no passion but have purpose. You can have purpose all day and twice on Sunday, but I would rather take 4 passionate people who want to do the small things really well, than have 100 people clamoring for greatness and the next rung or check in the box any day.
God, renew my passion! Help me to understand that a know it all cannot do it all.
