Contract Vs Covenant Marriage

Living out a Covenant marriage as oppose to living out a Contract marriage.

Relationships aren’t working because we do not define them at a God level.  A God level relationship operates through a covenant. Blood is involved.   To have a God kind of success we must redefine our relationships at a God level!

When we have a contract relationship we are saying: We must protect our rights, but limit our responsibilities.  I want all of this but right now I want you to know I’m not putting up with a lot.  It’s not love if it’s conditional. If you don’t fulfill your part I’m out of here.

When we have a covenant relationship we are saying: We give up our rights and pick up our responsibilities.  I’m going to enter into this at a point of sacrifice.  I will surrender my rights.  It only takes one to agree, not basing it on what you do, but on what I’ve decided, till deaths do us part.

We have our bad days and good days.  We aren’t perfect, but when we strive to remember God first in all of our life it means he adds to us. He produces riches in our lives, relationships, parenting, worship, and anything beyond what we can think or ask for.  A “contract” marriage will never work!

How to live a Covenant Marriage

We must give up 3 rights:

1.       Priority: Our new priority is our spouse. We say, “I will protect that by anything you can perceive.” The best of us must no longer go to our “jobs” or our hobbies. The best of us belong to our spouse.  We must have a marriage centered home rather than a child centered home. We MUST be an example to our children!

2.       Ownership: We say, “I give you the right to co-own every part of my life: time, money, possessions, and body. Everything I have is yours.”  We don’t demand this of each other; rather we give it to each other.  There is no longer mine or yours but rather ours.  There is no room for selfishness!

3.       Privacy:  We give our spouse free and unhindered access to everything we are and everything we have.  We do no hide parts of us from our spouses. We are open books. We are able to come to each other with open hearts and open minds because our transparency has built trust and we are confident and secure in our relationship.

We must love unconditionally, live with honor, and live with respect.

Loving unconditionally means when you are at your worst I will love you the most.  You will never get to the “what if” if you take your marriage to the God level and become part of the solution not the problem.  When you are faithless he is faithful!

Honor is when you put value in something that does not have value.  You make it valuable.  God created men to need value. God calls us to be Holy and Holy means to be set apart and special. Holy living men and women put their hope in God.  Honor him even when he/she was not honorable.

Submit mutually must be out of reverence for Christ.  We make Jesus the priority.  Respond to his unconditional love by loving him back. We then submit everything we have.  If you have done anything less than that you have religion, not the real thing, you have a contract not a covenant.  You cannot work on any relationship on earth before you work on your relationship with God. 

How my children are teaching me

How my children are teaching me….

As we sat down for our morning cup of coffee my wife and I started discussing the correlations between our family and our faith. Our talk leads us to our daughters’ dependency on us.  When they wake up and the first words out of their mouths are, “I hungry Daddy, I need to go potty,” and if it is a relatively bad morning my oldest will say, “Daddy I red” (her way of telling me she is bleeding).  Observing their behavior really made me stop and focus upon my own relationship with God.  How often do I look to God and say, “Daddy I am hungry for more of you! I need to be cleaned God. I’m dirty. God I am hurting.”

As we grow and mature we begin to believe that we no longer depend on our parents and we are strong enough to do everything on our own. We tend to believe that we don’t need their wisdom and guidance.  But what happens when disaster strikes? Who is the first person/people we typically run to? We run straight to those that unconditionally love us and that will all ways come through for us.  We seek their assistance and guidance.  We as believers have a tendency to act the same way during our own spiritual growth. The more we learn and know leads us to believe that we can do life on our own instead of constantly relying upon God and his wisdom and guidance.  Instead the more we grow the more we need his direction.

James 1:5(NLT)

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”

God is constantly attempting to speak into our lives. He is speaking life, wisdom, and healing but we have either blocked his voice out or we act like rebellious teenagers. We throw our fist up at God and tell him, “I don’t need you, I can handle this!”

My children are teaching me that there will never be a moment during my day that I won’t need God. I need him for everything in my life and I love him for that. I will forever need his wisdom and guidance. My revelation is this, I should pray first about everything in my life. 

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Before I send that email, apply for a job, before I take on the next big project I need to pray first.  I need to talk to my father every day! I want everything in my life to say love loudly!